Why Chris Brown is Bringing Rihanna Down
So, the world is pretty upset at Chris Brown again. But this time, Rihanna is getting some heat too. Gee, I can’t imagine WHY.
Many people were offended that Chris got to perform not once, but twice at the latest Grammys. Why? Because it was the third anniversary of his beating of Rihanna shortly before they were to perform. You’ve probably seen the pictures of the aftermath since they leaked a few days later. I only needed to see them once so I will not be posting them here. She was hurt. Hurt bad.
And now, Chris Brown and Rihanna seem to be making amends. They’ve each released a new single featuring the other. And Brown was smuggled into Rihanna’s recent birthday party. In response to the news of their budding friendship, Billboard penned open letters to both Rihanna and Chris Brown.
According to the authors, it seems that the problem is Rihanna is a role model and Brown has yet to make up for his actions. And while I think the sentiment is right, the messages were a little off.
First, let’s talk about Rihanna.
Saying that she should be a role model is pointless. That never works for celebrities. They claim they just want to live their lives however they want without the pressure of having to teach the youngins about life. And I agree with her. But if Rih Rih was my friend (and I’ve had friends in similar positions) I would be having the same reaction. “Um, wait. Why are you talking to him?” “I agree you can forgive, but are you sure you want to forget?” “This is WRONG, Rih, WRONG.”
Why? It’s not because we think that Rihanna should be where all the young girls turn to model their behavior after they’ve suffered abuse. It’s because we kind of like her. We want what’s best for her. And what’s best for her is not to re-friend a man who CLEARLY has not been able to realize his level of responsibility to FIX whatever the hell was wrong with him the night (and the nights leading up to this night) that the tragic scene unfolded.
Which brings me to Chris. Chris, oh, Chris.
Look. He was abused. Yes that’s tragic and yes that likely played a big part in the rage that he experienced as he slammed Rihanna’s head into the car window and punched her repeatedly before he bit her ear. From the few comments he’s made about the subject that were coherent, it seems that Chris was not completely “there” when he beat his girlfriend so severely. And this makes sense considering I’ve heard from many men about that “click” that happens when they lose all sense of themselves, rage takes over, and they sort of wake up dealing with the consequences. And those consequences can sometimes be deadly. (This should send a shiver down your spine).
And if Chris were my friend? Well, he wouldn’t be. It would scare me to be around him. Because it’s painfully obvious that he has not taken responsibility for his actions. And granting him the reality that he didn’t realize he was hitting the woman he so dearly loved, his responsibility was to ENSURE to the best of his ability that it would never happen again.
Let’s list a few of the reasons we know this has not happened:
- He threw a chair out a window and ripped his own shirt off in response to being asked about “the incident” on Good Morning America
- He reacts with outrage and anger to Twitter messages about “the incident” instead of accepting that is the bed he made for himself and he can use these incidents to be a better person (and now he has a very large man willing to beat the crap out of him, professionally)
- He has YET to apologize genuinely or to show any evidence that he has sought professional help (therapy) for his anger issues. Domestic abuse classes do not necessarily address his personal issues with anger and rage.
- He never responded to young women on Twitter saying “I’d let Chris Brown beat me” after his Grammys performance except to come up with the pick-up line above, yes it’s real. All he had to say was, “Ladies, that’s not funny. Please respect yourself.” But no.
(There are more reasons at Buzzfeed.)
Basically, he still acts like a child. A child with the strength of a man. Strength that is easily misdirected when he’s angry. And that is pretty effing scary.
For the last two days I have successfully avoided the two new singles that serve as evidence that Rihanna and Chris Brown are both acting like children who for some reason never understood their violent relationship on the level that they should have. Believe me, that’s a feat.
But since they’ve decided to go very public with their rekindled friendship they should know now more than ever that the world is watching. Whether they like it or not.